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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I Have been Healed!

   I am not kidding when I say this is attempt number six to write this.  It is so hard to write about how God has healed me.  Two reasons I think... First I am afraid.  To acknowledge that I have experienced divine healing is pretty weird, fringe Christianity,  and I have no idea how you will receive it.  Will you think I'm crazy?  Will you doubt it to be true?  Honestly I still doubt it to be true sometimes myself!  So why wouldn't you!  Secondly it just doesn't make sense.  I don't understand why I got healed (other than I have an awesome God who loves me!), why did God chose to heal me, and not others?  The circumstances and the way He healed me are, well there just not how I would have imagined receiving healing, so how could this be!  A few days ago a good friend of mine had said, "It's so hard to tell others about what God is doing, when we don't understand it ourselves."  If that isn't the crux of what I have been struggling with.  I don't fully understand this, and I am afraid of what you may think of all of this, but come Hell or high water, this is the post I will be publishing!
  
So...  Over the last month, God has healed me of...
·         Crippling Migraines,  I mean these things were so bad, last year I lost three months too what is known as a chaining migraine.  I have gone to the hospital twice, maybe three times with them.  COMPLEATLY HEALED!
·         A lifelong struggle with Asthma.  Again, not an occasional attack treated with over the counter drugs, I spent the majority of my middle school life in hospitals with severe asthma attacks, and five months in a hospital in Denver CO, to get it under control.  I have taken the strongest medications and still battled my whole life with them.  COMPLEATLY HEALED!
·         My eyesight.  Which still perplexes me because frankly I always looked good in glasses!  I have worn glasses since grade school.  Had a decent astigmatism, everything is just blurry without my glasses.  COMPLEATLY HEALED!
Each of these healings have their own story, so I suppose I should tell each one in a separate post so as not to weary the reader.

   "I have always been a sickly person."  That sentence is kind of what started it all for me.  It's a phrase I have said many times, a "truth" I have believed about myself for... well for all my life.  And how could I not have believed that!
   At age five I had my first major surgery, kidney stones.  Then asthma, infections, gallbladder surgery, collapsed lung, migraines, sleep apnea and let's not even mention cold and flu season!  I just remember my child hood as always being sick.  I have seen the inside of more hospitals then I ever care to recount!  And put more doctors children through college then I will ever know.  I am thirty four and I think my parents are still paying medical bills from my childhood.
   I was at our bible study back in August I believe, the topic was finished and everyone was chatting before we gathered up the kids to head home, and I just happen to utter my phrase, "I have always been a sickly person."  The host of our study group heard me say that, and from across the room full of people announces, "That is a lie!, I refuse to agree with that!" 
   We got into a discussion for a few hours that night about healing.  It was eye opening.  I have always believed in Gods power to heal, have even known people who claimed healing.  But another favorite phrase of mine has always been, "I believe God can heal, but I don't believe He will heal me."  That night I was very challenged about why I had made such a horrible "agreement."  And we went home that night heads swirling with speculation, and wonder.
   The next day, I woke up with one of my infamous migraines coming on.  I got out of bed and with half a heart I prayed.  For the first time in my life I believed God could heal me, and I asked for that healing.  The migraine went away.  That was it!  No angels appearing, no choir singing, not even an elevated heart rate!  I just felt better.  I was thrilled, a little disappointed in the lack of event, but thrilled!  It came on again about an hour later, so I prayed again.  Again it left.  I almost had a migraine eight times that day.  And each time I prayed it away.  That day was the day I was healed of migraines!  And that healing was what opened the door to the other healings in my life.  Because I knew that I had been healed, I also knew God could heal me completely of everything I have struggled with!
   Have you ever noticed that every time Jesus healed someone, He would always say, "your faith healed you." or some variation of that statement  I always thought that He was being somewhat facetious, or maybe just polite... like when someone says, "you're the man," and you respond with, "NO you're the man!" all the while knowing full well that if anyone is getting the, "you're the man," award, it's you at that moment. 
   I was challenged by the fact that Jesus really meant what He said... all the time.  And when He said, "your faith has healed you."  He really meant that because you believed in me and my power to heal, you have been healed!  It's how the apostles healed as well, people believed in the power of Jesus Christ, and they received the healing that the apostles offered. 
   I always imagined that if I were to experience "faith" healing, it would be at the hands of an overdressed, slightly balding, profusely sweating, tent revival preacher, who in the glory name of Jesus calls down righteous healing on my broken body!  But I have been rudely awoken to the fact that "faith" healing involves only one ingredient... FAITH!  For the first time in my life I believed that God was fully capable of healing, and it opened the door to a complete healing of my whole body!  And nowhere was there any saint of Christianity to be found.  It was just me and God, working out how big and awesome and capable He actually is!
   It seems very simple, believe, truly know in your hear that Jesus still heals, and you will be healed.  But it takes a colossal amount of work to get to a place where you actually believe.  And even then you have to battle with your unbelief, but that is a story for how God healed my eyesight!

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